I am more vulnerable now than I ever was !! Being vulnerable is my weakness as well as the greatest strength. I am growing up to accept this fact.
Vulnerability for me is being constantly open to change, transparency, flexible in nature & sometimes it can be my indecisive nature! Unpredictability is the word…
Preferences and tastes keep changing regularly. Thanks to the ample choices.
Every time I update a new post, I have this weird feeling of deleting the blog asap. I tend to write what I feel without judging my thoughts. When I post, I suddenly realize that my feelings are now open for others to read & comment. I suffer from the fear of acceptability. It lasts for sometime.
I like to travel. Visit some fantastic tourist spots with my digicam. I am lil smart n lil intelligent. I know I can take care of myself but my dad is so overprotective that he thinks I am still a small gal and should travel with family or relatives only. He never sent me to the school/ college trips – jus managed 1 trip in graduation. And now I am scared to travel 4m 1 city to another. I want to overcome this fear soon, as I want to go on a world trip – Paris, Melbourne, Amsterdam, Singapore & so on..
No one is perfect. I have flaws too. But there is always a room for improvements.
I fall for the wrong boy. Ahh ! Someone who is not accepting me the way I am can create tornados in my heart. I wished to meet the boy of my dreams, well I did and sooner realized that we just don’t stand up to each other’s expectations. Woww, hez so mesmerizing, lovable & straight from the dreams. Never mind. Its his loss as much as mine. Life moves on 4 the better…
I want to go for; my first smooch only, before the marriage. Just a silly idea & it thrills me. But I have a problem here - the basic values u see. They are so strongly imbibed that even if I get a free ride to go for my first kiss, my mind might be foolish enough to knock some sense at the right time. I might go for it when I like someone a lot. I really want to. Rest of the things can wait till marriage.
In the journey of life, few remain as unforgettable acquaintances and some become close friends. But I don’t insist on continuing every relationship. Not a compulsion! Every night I decide to put an end to few for some reasons, the very next morning my mind demands not to let them go. Its crazy !
Its different strokes to different people. A person can have several amazing facets. Aggressive, diplomatic & dominating at the professional front; Convincing, homely & acceptable at home; Brutally honest, emotional and frank with online friends; Expressing hidden desires, transparent and anonymity on O3; Strength to the weaker; Special to special ones.
Since I never got the people I liked, I convince myself that it was only a short-lived infatuation/crush. Life has taught me to let go people after the last best attempt of restoration. It’s a piece of cake, now. I happen to believe that I have never fallen for anybody - which might be true and might not be. I don’t question the logics or rationality.
The bold side of me wants to go 4 a live in relationship. Sounds better than arrange marriage. The fact is that my family will never accept it. I cannot be very selfish. I find it, very hard at times to bridge my desires & the reality. Its good that way, there has to be limitations as the desires are wild horses.
There is always this curiosity to explore the unknown with a pinch of measured risk. I could not have experienced a better life without feeling life.
I don’t want to escape from anything that life has to offer me !
Every fall makes me stronger than before and better than before !!
Vulnerability for me is being constantly open to change, transparency, flexible in nature & sometimes it can be my indecisive nature! Unpredictability is the word…
Preferences and tastes keep changing regularly. Thanks to the ample choices.
Every time I update a new post, I have this weird feeling of deleting the blog asap. I tend to write what I feel without judging my thoughts. When I post, I suddenly realize that my feelings are now open for others to read & comment. I suffer from the fear of acceptability. It lasts for sometime.
I like to travel. Visit some fantastic tourist spots with my digicam. I am lil smart n lil intelligent. I know I can take care of myself but my dad is so overprotective that he thinks I am still a small gal and should travel with family or relatives only. He never sent me to the school/ college trips – jus managed 1 trip in graduation. And now I am scared to travel 4m 1 city to another. I want to overcome this fear soon, as I want to go on a world trip – Paris, Melbourne, Amsterdam, Singapore & so on..
No one is perfect. I have flaws too. But there is always a room for improvements.
I fall for the wrong boy. Ahh ! Someone who is not accepting me the way I am can create tornados in my heart. I wished to meet the boy of my dreams, well I did and sooner realized that we just don’t stand up to each other’s expectations. Woww, hez so mesmerizing, lovable & straight from the dreams. Never mind. Its his loss as much as mine. Life moves on 4 the better…
I want to go for; my first smooch only, before the marriage. Just a silly idea & it thrills me. But I have a problem here - the basic values u see. They are so strongly imbibed that even if I get a free ride to go for my first kiss, my mind might be foolish enough to knock some sense at the right time. I might go for it when I like someone a lot. I really want to. Rest of the things can wait till marriage.
In the journey of life, few remain as unforgettable acquaintances and some become close friends. But I don’t insist on continuing every relationship. Not a compulsion! Every night I decide to put an end to few for some reasons, the very next morning my mind demands not to let them go. Its crazy !
Its different strokes to different people. A person can have several amazing facets. Aggressive, diplomatic & dominating at the professional front; Convincing, homely & acceptable at home; Brutally honest, emotional and frank with online friends; Expressing hidden desires, transparent and anonymity on O3; Strength to the weaker; Special to special ones.
Since I never got the people I liked, I convince myself that it was only a short-lived infatuation/crush. Life has taught me to let go people after the last best attempt of restoration. It’s a piece of cake, now. I happen to believe that I have never fallen for anybody - which might be true and might not be. I don’t question the logics or rationality.
The bold side of me wants to go 4 a live in relationship. Sounds better than arrange marriage. The fact is that my family will never accept it. I cannot be very selfish. I find it, very hard at times to bridge my desires & the reality. Its good that way, there has to be limitations as the desires are wild horses.
There is always this curiosity to explore the unknown with a pinch of measured risk. I could not have experienced a better life without feeling life.
I don’t want to escape from anything that life has to offer me !
Every fall makes me stronger than before and better than before !!
4 comments:
Well written article.
wow! that's a hell lot of sensibility in one single post. But not enough to last for 2 years!! :P
At so many places, u think like me. A live in relationship.. have wanted that. Hve wanted to do so many things, but parents. They are the ones who brought us up. Have to keep them happy. School trips, college trips, well.. te only trips I went to are my girl guiding trip, and the college one that I went to, without informing home :D And both involved treks. Yippie!
Bound by relationships. At so many times I wonder why my parents' thinking is so different from mine.
Moving on is not so easy.. during college when I got fed up of the innumerable crushes, I'd tell myself "its ur hormones gal! he's not worth so much attention" :P
mm.. many times I even open my orkut, facebook.. evern my yahoo list and wonder-- who all can I delete from here? There are ppl I haven't spoken to for 2 yrs, but still, have to keep em :) Old times sake :)
Someone recently asked me if I like to travel. I said I have no dislike. I was confused. After much thought, I got my answer. How I'd love to travel. Its just that I haven't done! Sigh! Bound by strong blood relations.
Shouldn't u be writing more here? Time for a migration from o3? :)
oh and that thing about.. 'rest of the things can wait for after marriage' thumbs up girl! :)
Hi Shruti,
Thanks for the visit.
Its been ages I havnt been here..
Strangely, vn I read this whole post now, I find it very embarassing.. dunno y.
I hav this bad habit of not reading old posts for this reason.
Love
L4L
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